Cracking...

I just googled hypermesis gravidarum.

At the bottom of the page I'm left with:

Notable cases

Author Charlotte Brontë is often thought to have suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum. She died in 1855 while four months pregnant, having been afflicted by intractable nausea and vomiting throughout her pregnancy, and was unable to tolerate food or even water.

Isn't that encouraging? Ack!

That's a picture of some of the items i carry around in my "nausea bag" that goes with me everywhere. 

I thought I'd had a breakthrough yesterday when we gave up on the Diclegis meds and switched to Zofran. For the most of one whole day I was back to my old self and on top of the world. At one point I made a chicken salad sandwich and ate it.  

I dared myself to hope that we'd had a breakthrough. I pictured myself charging ahead heading back to work next week laughing and putting together a classroom like it was nothing. Another dose before bed made me loopy and I blissfully settled into sleep.

Oh, Zofran! You betray me! I thought we had a good thing going, ya know?!

Although I have not officially hit my knees in front of the porcelain throne today it has taken all of my willpower not too. I'm terrified of aggravating an apparent abdominal muscle strain - a gift of the night of misery early in the week I am sure - that will set off a searing, sharp pain. Arg. 

At least I got some rolled tacos in me at one point... I know, doesn't make much sense right? But anyone who has dealt with the beast of serious morning sickness knows that if ANYTHING at ANY TIME sounds edible you find a way to get it and you eat it! (In fact, after trying to distract me with a walk around the lake I came home and finished off a couple spoon-fulls of spumoni ice cream from The Spaghetti Factory. Unfortunately only one place for that... I wonder if they'd even let me order a bag of little containers of it to go? LOL)

Ugh - I can't even read back that last paragraph now. 

Poor Duchess Kate was hospitalized when she was preggers. I was thinking about that earlier. I wonder what it would be like to have a staff who could get a doctor at any time of the night, have a prescription delivered... I bet the manager at the local Spaghetti Factory would be honored to deliver a bowl of Spumoni any time 24/7! 

I am thankfully NOT at the point of hospitalization, or even very close as of now, and I do have my hubby who selflessly has run about on a whim or necessity to get me meds and food at all hours of the day. (Love that man!)

Thank you to those who have posted tips/advice. (I have wanted to try that smoothie remedy but couldn't stomach making oatmeal today haha. Maybe this week when I have a "strong hour" or two.)

I am definitely cracking - Stephen brought my little man in to say goodnight while I was sitting in the shower with my head on the wall, and his sweet little face brought tears to my eyes. I could only look at him through the glass door and blow him kisses, then watch as he watched me until daddy turned the corner and took him out of our room to sing him a song and put him to bed. 

Lunch and dinner was always our time, but I have understandably faltered around the sights and smells of the kitchen lately. Tonight I got him started but had to give in, ask the hubby to take over, and collapse into bed. Right now I have our video monitor on the bedside table next to me and I am grateful to watch him peacefully sleeping away...

Here is my latest cute picture of him just because it makes me happy to look at it!

Six. More. Weeks.

That's what we tell ourselves. In the grand scheme of things this is nothing. Kind of reminds me of eternity - in the perspective of forever the hard things we walk through in life are over in the blink of an eye! 

I thank the Lord for this battle - because I fought for the honor of having it! Heck, we paid more than thirty grand over the course of years to get to deal with a horrid bout of morning sickness! So many women out there would GLADLY take my place, because the sicker I feel the more prominent of a reminder it is that I have a beautiful life growing inside of me. I got a second chance - two for two! How amazing is that? 

I'd also acknowledge that there are others who are walking through painful trials without the promise of a happy ending. 

So, my dears friends - if you see me stumbling a bit in the next weeks, (especially at work - I am kinda freaked out about figuring some kind of solution out before being trapped in a classroom with 38 freshmen), remind me of my words! Sometimes it's okay to break down and cry, and acknowledge that this SUCKS, but sometimes I will need to get some perspective and get through it! (Or just walk out and puke, right? I am sure they will handle that distraction just fine and get back to their Algebra.) LOL... 

Hugs!

(Ps - hubby when you read this can you bring me an apple and almond butter? I'm gonna go for it!)