What just happened?!

Here's to "mommy intuition"....

Nearing the end of our first week home the little guy had developed a sort of rash that we'd just written off as baby acne. (First time parents - didn't know that around the eye isn't a normal location, or that he was too young to develop that yet.) But by Saturday it had developed into something that did NOT look right - and I knew that we needed to get him to a doctor ASAP.

I packed a bag for a trip to Urgent Care, thinking that we'd be gone at most a few hours. Little did I know...

After the doctor took an initial look at it, things escalated rapidly!

• It's just a staff infection. We'd get some antibiotics and follow through with pediatrician on Monday.
• Doctor comes back with another doctor - turns out that it doesn't look good and they are worried about the location. If it is herpes that could be potentially extremely serious due to the blood-brain barrier. (?!?)
• We should go talk to a pediatrician down at Children's to be safe. The doc will call ahead to let them know we are on our way.
• Suddenly, we are to report straight to the NICU and a doctor is waiting for us. They'll look at it and decide if he should be admitted...
• We get to the NICU, a doctor meets us outside the entrance - takes one look and pulls out a cell phone to ask someone about a room. (?!?)
• The doctor starts asking me if I am breastfeeding and if I need anything - though I am extremely confused because we'd just fed him and I had a formula with me so why would I need anything more?
• We are ushered to another building and into a room, where they promptly wheel a tiny little hospital crib and a nurse is talking about hooking him up for vitals and taking blood!

STOP!!!!

At this point, we stop the nurse and flat out ask her what on earth is going on. Apparently, we were being admitted (I guess we missed that memo!) and should expect to be there for the night. 

I promptly LOST it. This had quickly become the worst day of my life - and I couldn't even bear to see my tiny little baby boy being placed in a hospital crib with machines and wires everywhere. Of course, he started crying and I felt like I couldn't even breathe or function. Thank the Lord for Stephen - and his amazing strength! He immediately took over comforting him and I dashed outside the room onto a little patio to call my parents. 

The rest of the evening was a blur - Stephen ordering me back outside while 6 different people attempted to place an IV and draw blood for tests. They ended up having to take him to an anethesiologist in the end (not to knock him out, thank goodness!) to get the IV in, and Stephen had to help hold him down while he struggled and cried. My parents arrived as backup and brought us clothes (I'd never even unpacked from the hospital when I delivered); and my mom stood by my side as a nurse took my baby and walked down a hall to a procedure room where they would take a sample of fluid from his spine to test for the dreaded HSV (herpes). It took all my strength not to run after her and claw her eyes out and grab him back.

Eventually we got him nestled into the crib, and I was calmed down. The room is only set up for one parent to sleep - so I took the awful fold-out chair/bed and Stephen took a pillow and blanket to camp out in the waiting room down the hall. 

To make the rest of a long story short, we went from one night to 48 hours so that a test could come in... and eventually capped off at 5 nights. Many times Stephen and I would look at each other and ask "How did we get here?"; as it all happened so fast and we were in shock. We settled into an uncomfortable sort of (miserable) routine - finding small ways to break up the monotony (even get off-campus a couple of times), while we waited mostly in the dark and in confusion for results of tests and cultures that would eventually confirm that it wasn't herpes. Only by the prayers, support, and encouragement of family and friends did we survive and not kill each other in the process!

A head doctor finally discharged us late Thursday morning - after a serious "if you see anything at all that doesn't look good or seem right then you are to come back" talk, and a perscription for antibiotics with follow-up appointments scheduled. Getting in that car and driving away was the most wonderful moment!

We are back home now, and in many ways it feels like starting from scratch - along with the added exhaustion of the unexpected prolonged hospital experience. The poor little guy is struggling though some tummy issues due to the meds as well. But even so - we are gladly willing to survive and figure this all out in the comfort of our HOME, and doing it as a FAMILY. (Forgive us if we remain MIA for a while!) 

I didn't mention it in this post, but I hope to write again soon about the most AMAZING and AWESOME moments and "coincidences" that occurred in our 5 days - proof that even though God didn't prevent this trial, He was THERE through it all and made His presence known in undeniable ways!