Tick tock....Tick tock...

Okay, I was doing pretty good for the first couple days, but the slow ticking of time is probably going to drive me crazy. Now I understand FULLY why the 2ww (that's ivf forum slang for two-week-wait) is so dreaded! No signs yet like implantation cramps and spotting - which aren't necessary but would sure help give me peace of mind...

Will it work?  Am I pregnant? What if I'm not pregnant?  Did I laugh too much the other day? Am I taking all the medicines right? Am I in the 47% success or not! (Sometimes that number seems big, sometimes small) What if I don't keep my feet warm all the time? Will eating walnuts really help? Oy!

I have been continuously trying to train my brain to relinquish these incessant thoughts. In fact, "relinquish" is my magic word!  Whenever I find myself starting to obsess or stress out I think that word, signifying that I am relinquishing my "control"  (which is imaginary anyhow) and those thoughts to God. So far He has been faithful, and is returning peace! Sometimes I say that word 10 times a minute, and every now and then I can go a whole hour! :0)

Tomorrow I head back to work full-time for the week. (I haven't had a full week of work in almost a month!) I know it'll help because I keep dreaming about the little "hoodlums" (a term of endearment) I shall return to and all the issues I will have to deal with. Of course, it's also dangerous considering the amount of stress that will assuredly accompany it all. (Let's just say they weren't the perfect little angels they should have been while I was gone....)

I have a feeling my "magic" word and continually turning over my thoughts and stress to the Lord will be a constant in my life this week.