Honestly, I didn't know how to answer exactly. Those who know us would remember that I was MIA for half of Nathan's first two months of life outside the womb; so in a lot of ways I am getting my first 'real' experience of the newborn phase. Stephen and I have both decided that if we just had Zach right now it would pretty much be piece of cake - - - but I can recall the desperate lows that we hit in the first week home with Nathan (before 4 consequential hospital stays) when we were new to parenting and had no idea what we were doing!
It's a catch 22 - we have so much more confidence now that it seems "easy", but you can't have that confidence without already having gone through it. And it can't actually BE "easy" now because even though we feel like we are getting the hang of the whole newborn thing down, it's the under-two TODDLER that runs us ragged. Just when we are starting to run on fumes we have the blessing of Grandma & Grandpa's house - my mom taking Nathan for a day and night stay once a week; which gives us a much needed breather and Stephen the chance to go to the office for two full days and focus on his job. ('Cause bringing home a paycheck is kind of important you know.)
The most "brilliant" decision that we made this time around was how we are handling the nights - the hubby and I rotating who has the baby. I've got a station set up with diapers, bottles, and everything else we might need in both our room and the nursery, where Stephen has an air mattress bed set up. Zach's bassinet just gets wheeled back and forth. No matter how "rough" a night goes (which, thankfully, isn't too bad with a only a couple of night feedings and the occasional unexpected blowout...) we can be motivated to pull through by the thought that we will get a full sleep the next night. Of course, we are doing our best to be extra intentional with our marriage/relationship since we are sleeping apart - but I have to admit it's nice to sprawl out across the bed as much as I want!
Zach being on formula makes this possible - which I know isn't a factor that everyone has to work with. (I am soooo enjoying actually being AROUND this time to get to know my son and bond with him, without my boobs and other body parts trying to kill me!) My heart and soul so greatly respects all of the moms out there who are solely breastfeeding and making the beautiful sacrifice of waking up EVERY night, EVERY time that their little one needs to eat...
Now, I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression that we are doing perfectly awesome and have it all figured out - literally LOL - 'cause that sure ain't the case! As I stated earlier, figuring out the parent thing with two under two has been a crazy challenge. Nathan is so awesome most of the time, and has seriously taken to being a good big brother; but he is still a not-so-quite-independent toddler who needs a lot of attention and energy and maintenance. (Oh, and has given us an understanding of why there is this thing called the "terrible twos".) And even when he was at my mom's this morning, I still found myself in the typical new-mom state of "I wish someone was here right now to hold this baby for 15 minutes so I could just take a shower".
But life is still good, and we are figuring it out. (And the crockpot dinner was so good and well-timed that it almost brought me to tears.) I can still hardly fathom how blessed we are to have gotten TWO little miracles from our IVF adventure, and it's been an incredible start to the journey of learning how much your heart's capacity to love can multiply! I am so completely enamored with the relationship that I have with Nathan - can't even put into words how awesome it is to be his Mama - and I am excited to see how my relationship with Zach will grow and develop as he does... I've also got a freakishly-awesome husband to partner with so that makes it all the more cool. (Please excuse my lack of interesting adjetives, and I can't remember how to spell adjetives - you know, the whole sleep deprivation thing...)
Ooooh - speaking of sleep - it's my night "off" so I really should be taking advantage of every last minute of rest that I can. So, good night! Zzzzzz.....................
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