My husband, My hero - PART I

This thought has been on my mind a lot lately. This is the man who has been determined to run himself ragged taking on the kiddo's responsibilities that I can attempt to recuperate; and who picks up the shattered pieces of my heart when I work through heartache and confusion over the crazy stuff that has happened in the last couple weeks. There are so many examples that fit the title - but here's a start:


In the frightening and confusing blur of the first day we found ourselves down at Children's Hospital, there are many moments that I love about how the hubby responded and handled things, but the most note-worthy was the horrible ordeal of getting the first IV in our tiny, 9-day old baby boy. For more than an hour different doctors and nurses tried to find a vein that would work and hold the little catheter. Poor little Nathan had no idea what was going on and was constantly crying and screaming. My husband, although his own heart was broken, stood strong and stayed by our son's side the entire time; making "shoosing" noises in his ear to help try and calm him down. The whole memory still chokes me up and brings tears to my eyes....


My third night on the latest hospital stay, I had tentatively recovered from a total meltdown and was determined to get a much needed good (as possible in a hospital) night's sleep. Unfortunately the lights from my IV stand thingee were so bright they lit up the whole room. (Seriously, who designed those darn things?!) The husband sprang to my rescue and dug out some white tape from my dressing supplies; then proceeded to tear off little pieces and place them over the most-offending evil green light. When the white tape didn't dim the light enough, he switched to a thicker stretch tape that tapered the brightness considerably. My black pumping bra covered the display to complete the job.



After my appendectomy, I was left with a tube and abdominal drain that looked like a squeezable bulb. The concept was that the bulb created a suction that would pull out fluid. It would need to be emptied a couple of times a day or so into a cup and measured. My nurses took care of that lovely duty for the first couple of days, and then I was taught the procedure so that I would be confident and comfortable doing it once I was discharged. I was sure that the hubby wouldn't want to be within 10 feet of that liquid, and I can admit that even I was a bit squeamish at first! But he braved being handed the little cup and rinsing it out in my hospital sink. At home he was faithful to make sure that I was emptying and recording my levels every day. By the second week he'd stand by in our bathroom and even started making jokes that it looked like apple juice! Bleh! (Thanks for that one hubby!) LOL



I woke up from surgery to find my body much altered with a ton of pain to boot! The worst of it was the "side-stitch-from-hell" in my upper right chest. This excruciating pain made it difficult to even take a full breath. My nurses and doctors encouraged me to take walks as much as possible to help my body recover and get through any air bubbles, etc., faster. I will never forget watching my husband steady me with his big strong arms to help me sit on the edge of the bed - and then make me wait until he'd unhooked my catheter bag and found a place to hang it on the IV stand. (He never even once batted an eye at holding the bag of pee, or helping position the long tube in bed so that I felt comfortable and wasn't afraid of accidently yanking it out.)  He'd gently hoist me up and help guide me around the floor where my room was. I remember commenting on a facebook post that THAT was true romance!

Home, though not yet healed...

Just wanted to set up a little update for those who have been asking.

I am typing this from my own bed, (which I have definitely not seen enough of this summer), as the hospital did in fact discharge me yesterday. They had been waiting on my white blood cell count to drop to a normal level (below 10,000 - it was almost 22,000 when I was admitted this last time) and my fever to subside for at least 24 hours. I have been able to transition from IV antibiotics to an oral antibiotic, and my surgeon removed the tube that was draining my abdomen.

Still battling the nasty mastitis and exhaustion. I've honestly never felt so utterly worn out in my entire life. I made the difficult decision last night to leave my parents house, and my baby boy, to come back to our own home so that I could be in the best place possible (I hope) to continue resting and recovering. I'm grateful to have had a few hours yesterday to hold and snuggle my little one - and I know that he is in the best place possible with Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Brad (who is officially home from college). I did get some sleep last night, though awoke drenched in sweat several times and had to get up and change and get settled again.

Mentally, I've officially hit a breaking point a couple of times these past couple of days - as though all of the stress and realities from this summer and especially my lame health lately has finally caught up and overwhelmed me all at once. Honestly, I think I've rightfully been due for a few great big cry sessions. They can be very therapeutic... :oP

One praise report - got to stop and see some good girlfriends on the way home from the 'rents last night. It was a wonderful time of some much-needed sharing and laughter.

The article about being "blindsided but never betrayed" by God has been a great encouragement to me. I don't know what the future holds - and when will I be able to begin work? Ah! School starts in a week - and just trying to get by one moment at a time. There have been plenty of moments to still find laughter, even at the peak of misery; and I pray that I won't loose that.

For now I must choose to ignore the many tasks of cleaning, organizing, etc that I see around me and focus on continuing to heal and recover. I know that so many of my awesome friends and family are waiting to know how they can help. What a humbling summer it has been to learn how to continually receive it! Hoping to get some food in me this morning, and get some serious sleep in, then look at the next decisions.

Hugs.